Looking your best isn’t dishonest or unnecessary – it’s your basic hishtadlus, and we all need to put our best foot forward. And hey— it’ll make you more confident on the date, which is always a good thing!
It’s a good idea to try something interactive. You get to see your date in a different light and how they interact with others. And as for you, make sure to be yourself! (The best version of yourself, of course, but don’t be anybody other than yourself.)
Although this isn’t always the case, you may sometimes judge what he/she is doing as socially different while it’s really just a gender difference. Be open to another person’s world— even if it’s not what you’re used to, you can have what to learn from it.
Make sure to be respectful the entire date, even if you feel that it may not work out. He/she is still human and has feelings.
Don’t spend the whole date analyzing whether or not you’d like to meet again or if you think you should marry them. Throw yourself into the date and do the thinking afterwards!
One man relates: “I was dating my wife while being a counselor in TheZone. This was difficult for me and very tiring. During my dates, I was in contact with my Rabbi, and I expressed that I was simply too tired and overwhelmed to analyze each date and figure out if this is really right.
“To my surprise, he answered that he wishes he could orchestrate all his kids shidduchim in such a scenario! A single must be as detailed as possible during the “on paper stage,” when they’re researching a potential match and deciding if they could be the right one. That’s when things need to make sense and line up! During the actual date, a single is looking for one thing and one thing only- chemistry!”
